When a Pet Dies
One of my parrots died last week, and I can’t bring myself to clear out her cage, much less get rid of it.
How do I throw out the remnants of the last peanut she ate? The shell is where she dropped it on top of her cage the night before she died, bountiful crumbs all around it (parrots eat like Cookie Monster). How do I throw away her toys?
She was woven throughout my daily routine, so her absence is constantly conspicuous. Her cage is the first thing I see when I go into our bird room. She used to be the first bird I uncovered and greeted each morning, the last bird I pet, put away, covered, and said goodnight to each evening. As I open the door now, her open, permanently uncovered cage brings a jolt of sorrow each morning.
I always brought her with me as I prepared breakfast bowls for all of the birds. Now I pause at her cage each day, momentarily forgetting that she’s not there anymore.
As I get the bird bowls out of the dishwasher in the morning, and as I put the dirty ones in at night, hers are missing. As I walk by her cage, she isn’t sitting on top, leaning over for a head scritch. When my husband comes home, she doesn’t call out to him to come get her.
