Put Your Pants On!
A Case Study in Why Married Men Live Longer
My husband was up early this morning and about to head off to work when I glanced over and, in the dim light, realized he wasn’t wearing pants.
“Are you in your underwear?”
He looked down as if to check. “Yes.”
I try to refrain from asking him “why?” on most occasions, because he does usually have a brilliant reason that’s inscrutable on first consideration. But perhaps because I was still half asleep, this time I bit. But his explanation only compounded my confusion.
“Because it’s below zero out there,” he said.
I’m sure I squinted at him like he was crazy. So he continued, “My wife [that’s me!] has a rule that if it’s below freezing, I have to wear tall socks, and if it’s in the teens or colder, I also have to wear pants.”
“SO WHY AREN’T YOU WEARING PANTS?”
“They’re downstairs.”
Ohhhhh. Okay, now it was all starting to make sense. And I was really touched that he was doing what I’d “ordered.” I don’t like to tell him what to do (no, really), but I’m convinced that women help their men live longer this way.
This particular “rule” came about as a result of the pandemic. My husband has always worn shorts out in…
